Here’s a poem about Free Comic Book Day:

Free Comic Book Day
The first Saturday
In the month of May
Yay yay yay yay yay!

That poem is factually true. FCBD happens on the first Saturday in May which is THIS SATURDAY! In other words, on this Saturday, you can walk into a comic shop near you and walk out with one or maybe more free comic books.

There are a bundle of comics that will be offered. You can see them all here and here. And you can find a comic book store near you that’s participating by going here.

Here are the FCBD offerings I’m looking forward to most:

Congratulations to Jim, Shannon, Mike, and everyone else at Modern Myths for nabbing “Best Comic Shop” in the Valley Advocate’s readers’ poll! There’s a reason I happily drive 30 miles a week to go get my comics! Excellent job, folks!

We all write down the same list of a dozen of the dearest friends we have in common. Each of us then imagines himself crossing the steppes of Russia with all of them in a sledge pursued by a pack of hungry wolves, and has to throw them out one by one. Whom do you throw out first, whom next? You have to decide this, and number the names on the list accordingly, in the order in which you would throw out your friends to be torn in pieces. Needless to say you cannot throw yourself out. … The game provides valuable statistics, for all the marks we have given each person are added up afterwards. The man who gets the fewest is, of course, the least popular of our friends. When one list is exhausted you can start on another dozen, and after that make a composite list of the top six of each list.

From The Weekend Book, by Francis Meynell, first published in 1924 and recently reprinted. Russian Sledges is from the section on Games, specifically “Quieter Indoor” ones.

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See, his girlfriend’s name is Carol Ferris, and…

Time to sift through the parade of pathos that is Previews, the Comic Shop’s Catalog!

Speak of the Devil (p. 25) — I’m all for this…in trade. Dark Horse collects everything in trade, so there’s no reason not to wait.

The Trial of Colonel Sweeto (p. 35) — I really like the webcomic Perry Bible Fellowship, but I don’t think I need a print collection of them.

Serenity Lunch Box (p. 55) — “Joss Wheden’s [sic] blockbuster [sic] Serenity has staying power.” All factual evidence to the contrary.

Catwoman: It’s Only a Movie TPB (p. 73) –

Justice Society of America (p. 84) — The cover of this comic has sparked a storm of outrage by comics nerds who demand an explanation for the suggestion that males might have genitals. Actual quote: “OMFG WHY DOES THIS MAN HAVE GENITALS!?!?” Here’s the cover in question:

Fortunately for the penile oppressed, this is just one of two available covers for this book. If they’re opposed to seeing sexualized superheroes on their comics, they can get the other one, which features a Power Girl/Supergirl homage:

Showcase Presents (p. 88) — You go to hell, DC! You go to hell and you DIE! After buying two Archives of Adam Strange, you give me a Showcase now? Well I’m no fool, I’m not going to buy these stories again. I’m going to stick to buying Archives! Ha, joke’s on YOU! On the other hand, I’ll probably go for the Wonder Woman one. You can play a drinking game with it where you drink every time she’s tied up and chug when she’s spanked! Or…you could just down five bowls of margaritas and be done with it in one go.

The Spirit #8 (p. 89) — Here’s one I’m starting to wish I’d waited for trades on. Not that there’s anything wrong with it; on the contrary, it’s very good. It’s just that I’d prefer it on my bookshelf than in a longbox.

Good as Lily (p. 115) — Does the fact that little DC is putting out interests me other than their line for teenage girls say more about them or about me? But but…Derek Kirk Kim!

Big Plans #1 (p. 234) — A cute looking Xeric-award winning comic, and the price is right!

Doktor Sleepless (p. 239) — I’m halfway tempted by this one, even though it’s Warren Ellis and I strongly suspect that the titular character may turn out to be a giant asshole. Fortunately the art looks terrible, so I can easily resist the urge.

Action Philosophers #9: The Lightning Round (p. 298) — “Final issue!” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I Killed Adolph Hitler (p. 304) — Does this meet my high standards? Let’s see:

It does!

Super Bad James Dynomite (p. 319) — Speaking of drinking games, here’s the Previews one. Drink whenever you see an item that is trying to capitalize on a trend that is LONG past dead. “Satirical” 70s blaxploitation comic? Drink.

Dungeon Parade Volume 2: Day of the Toads (p. 330) — Despite being tired of all things fantasy, I love this little series from Sfar and Trondheim.

Persona 3 Aegis PVC Something-or-Other (p. 346) — Seriously, Japan, what the fuck?

Incredible Change-Bots (p. 368) — I’m on the fence about this one. On the one hand, I like some of Jeffrey Brown’s stuff. Him riffing on the Transformers could be very funny. On the other hand, I’d be reading a comic by Jeffrey Brown where he riffs on the Transformers. If it were cheaper I might take the gamble, but at fifteen energon cubes, I think I’ll pass.

Hikaru No Go vol 10 (p. 388) — This manga about a kid playing Go is the one I own the most volumes of. Who would have thunk that? I would never have guessed this would make it to ten volumes and still be interesting, but there you go.

And finally…anyone? Anyone? Yes, that’s right. Fortean Times.

That’s it for this round. Until next time,

Mike Daisey is a monologist. A professional storyteller. His best known work (until recently) is 21 Dog Years, in which he recounts his experiences working for Amazon.com.

His latest piece is entitled “Invincible Summer”, and while performing it the other night, he had an unwelcome surprise.

Last night’s performance of INVINCIBLE SUMMER was disrupted when eighty seven members of a Christian group walked out of the show en masse, and chose to physically attack my work by pouring water on and destroying the original of the show outline.

I’m still dealing with all the ramifications, but here’s what it felt like from my end: I am performing the show to a packed house, when suddenly the lights start coming up in the house as a flood of people start walking down the aisles–they looked like a flock of birds who’d been startled, the way they all moved so quickly, and at the same moment…it was shocking, to see them surging down the aisles. The show halted as they fled, and at this moment a member of their group strode up to the table, stood looking down on me and poured water all over the outline, drenching everything in a kind of anti-baptism.

This story made the internet rounds and, interestingly, roused some skepticism. How did he know they were “Christians”? How would the guy with the water know that he was destroying the only copy? Did they buy tickets just to protest? Why would they pick this particular show to do so? Some even suggested that the whole thing was a ploy by Daisey to get attention.

Daisey posted a follow-up in which he answered many of these questions. The audience members had indeed bought their tickets after asking if the show was “clean”. They seem to simultaneously be a Christian group and from a public high school. Daisey tracked them down, wanting nothing more than to speak with them and figure out what it was all about.

I did speak with an administrator from the school, and with the individual who ruined my work. I think it’s important to note that *I* found and called *them*–it is clear to me that I never would have heard from any of them again had I not hunted them down. In fact, they were surprised to hear from me, which I think speaks to the lack of understanding and civility on their part. My work had been assaulted, and I had a clear vision of this man standing above me, destroying my work, with hatred in his eyes. I refused to be a victim twice–first by being assaulted, and second by committing the sin of silence. So I knew I had to find them, and speak with the man who did this.

The first person I managed to reach was an administrator with the group, a woman who started the conversation repeating the same statement time and again, which undercut her apology: she insisted it was a “safety issue”, and that “we had to get our students out of there.” There was no discussion of language or appropriateness–it had become a safety issue, as though the students were in danger of being physically assaulted. I think it is tremendously chilling that the language of the war on terror, the language of security, has been appropriated for even this–we can’t even begin a dialogue about what is and is not appropriate, because it has all become a “safety” issue. That ends a conversation before it has even begun.

They claim they knew nothing about the adult language in the show before buying their tickets. Things apparently got out of control and they had to flee for their lives — okay — but not before destroying the script on the way out.

Daisey found the guy who did that and spoke with him as well:

His name is David…. He has three kids–one is 21, and two are 17–and he’s terrified of the world. Terrified by violence, and sex, and he sees it all linked together–a horrifying world filled with darkness, pornography and filth that threatens his children, has threatened them all his life. They’re older now, but he says he still sees things the same way–and that the only way to protect his children and himself is to lock it all out of his life.

He also said he’s had anger-control issues for years, and sometimes acts of rage come over him–he explodes, and then has to apologize, and doesn’t know why it happens. He tries to lock it down, but it happens, and he’s ashamed of it.

The other things you can find out about David I’ll let you do in the blog entry linked above.

These people felt strongly enough that, en masse, they got up and left. That’s fine, I suppose. You’re entitled. They disrupted the show, but I’m not sure there was any way for such a large group to exit without doing that. One of them feels this isn’t enough and attempts to destroy the show. At this point it is not enough to simply leave and “protect” himself and his children from what he’s seen, he must protect others as well. From the description of him, it sounds like Daisey may have gotten off somewhat easy.

And they leave, and as far as they’re concerned, that’s it. They don’t explain their actions to anyone. And there’s this bit: “…when I ask what the people in his group are saying about what happened, he confesses that no one is talking about it.” Were the scars from hearing adult language too deep? Was it yet another thing that had to be locked out? Or do they simply have no idea how mature, well-socialized people behave in normal society, that their actions were somewhat unusual?

And once again the question needs to be asked: if this had been done in the name of Allah instead of Jesus, would things be different?

165 years: Time it takes Neptune to orbit the sun.

75 years: Life span of African Bush Elephant.

22 years: Half-life of element 89, Actinium.

9 years: Time it took to complete the Lincoln Memorial.

6 years: Gestation period for a Suzanne Vega album.

The great wheel of time turns. Humans are born and die. Structures are built and collapse. Civilizations rise and fall. Suzanne Vega puts out another album.

Beauty and Crime is Ms. Vega’s seventh (I think…let me count. SV, SS, DoOH, 99.9, NOoD, SiRaG…yes, seventh) album and her first on Blue Note Records. It drops on July 17th, which is still a way’s away, I’m afraid. The first track is called “Frank and Ava” and even though you can hear it streaming on her website I thought I’d provide a handy mp3.