Are you feeling poorly? Not necessarily ill, but not particularly healthy? Are you down in the dumps, or merely lacking in get up and go? Is there something wrong that you can’t quite put your finger on? If it wasn’t for bad luck, would you have no luck at all? Do you find yourself making the same poor decisions over and over, unable to break free from a self-destructive cycle?

If so, you need to pick up a copy of Wisdom Magazine! (I got mine free at the Chinese buffet!)

Let’s have a flip through and see if we can’t figure out what’s causing your trouble, shall we?

page 6: Well here’s something, right away! “We begin the month with a meeting of Venus with Saturn on July 1st, in dramatic Leo. Saturn, the Cosmic Party Pooper, has been dragging through fun-loving Leo for over two years now, weighing down our collective merriment and making us question what we do for a good time.” Furthermore, “On the 8th, Venus makes a harmonious aspect to Pluto, one which is likely to refuel romantic gestures after the letdown of the beginning of the month.” And this is quite telling: “The last major aspect of the month is a square of Mars with Saturn,” which we all know leads to frustration.

Before you knock this Astrologer as a kook, I think you should know that he is certified by the National Council for Geocosmic Research.

page 8: Cie Simurro (a.k.a. Thunderbird Starwoman) talks to us about bees, both as just plain insects and as totem animals. After some fascinating facts about bees, she gives us some knowledge honey we can use: “If you are in a period of bee energy, or you love someone whose totem is a bee, it may be difficult to get beneath the surface at first to all the good that is there.” How do I know if I or my loved one has a bee totem? “People of the bee know when things don’t ’smell’ right.” In addition, I’m sure someone in one of the ads here will be happy, for a nominal fee, to let you know what your totem animal is. In fact, there’s a note at the end on how you can set up an appointment with Ms. Starwoman for just that.

page 13: Here’s a book that might help you! Shaking Medicine: The Healing Power of Ecstatic Movement by Brandford Keeney, “reintroduces the oldest medicine on earth — the ecstatic shaking of the human body — and shows how shaking can bring forth profound therapeutic effect. The book includes practical exercises in how to shake for both physical and spiritual benefit, as well as a 40-minute CD of ecstatic drumming music to use while shaking.” All that for only $20!

page 15: This magazine is chakra-filled with people who just want to make your life better! Phyllis Light, Ph.D and Telepathic Healer has developed the Rejuvenizer. Oh sure, it looks like simply “a beautiful piece of jewelry” but it can protect you from headaches, eyestrain, fatigue, EMFs (from computers, TVs, microwaves, satellites…), disease, and “other people’s negative energy”. Also it will enhance your intuition and your spiritual awareness. It doesn’t say how much this miracle costs but really, is any price too high when it comes to protecting yourself from other people’s negative energy?

page 18: Say! Do you need a new Wand? Then you’ll def want to hit up “Incantations” cause they have those and many more “magickal” supplies (not to be confused with “magical” which is just plain foolishness and fakery.) Also at their shop you can take a 14-session course to become a “Certified Herbalist”! And you can talk to Intuitive Reader Rev. Mark Greenfield. “Mark uses his intuition, the spirit of the Tarot, the voice of the Mermaids, gentle whispers of the Angels, and the gift of psychometry to deliver a message from the Goddess to you.”

page 23: Oh man you don’t want to miss this! Robbyne is back once again at the Quantum Life Management Center! From the twelfth through the seventeenth she’s gonna doing Sacred Silk Scarf Healings with the Andara Crystal. There will also be an Isis Magic workshop, an Enchanted afternoon with Faeries and Magic, and Love Magic! Boom-chicka-bow-wow! I’m not sure why her “magic” doesn’t have the Vitamin K that other advertisers have, but dude, the Andara Crystal!!

page: 28: Christan Hummel tells us how to access the creative matrix. I don’t want to spoil everything, but it’s got to do with vibrations. He can also, as his ad states, tell you how to create sacred space, if you don’t have enough sacred space around.

page 33: The amazing Linda Georgian has been voted the #1 psychic in the world! According to this ad, she’s the Real “Psychic to the Stars”! Among her stellar clientele is JFK, Jr., who you may recall died in a plane crash. Maybe he knew it was coming, thanks to Linda!

page 36: Here’s an article about the amazing Rhonda Lenair, who can cure alcohol addiction. She can cure you of a need for demon liquor in a mere three sessions and her work has been described as “sacred” by her devoted followers! Why, two of her strongest supporters who will tell you they were might skeptical at first, are now her coordinators in Texas! And the writer of this glowing article is Barry Lenair, who in addition to having the same last name as Rhonda, also coincidentally is the Program Director of the Lenair Healing Center!

page 37: Oh hey, here’s an ad for Thunderbird Starwoman’s business. If you need you some hands-on Kaolaimni Atlantean Healing, you need to give her a call.

Also on this page, Fred Cheyette can help you “set clear intentions for your life at a cellular level.” Maybe your problem is your intentions are set at a bigger level?

page 38: Here’s an article about the importance of imagination. It tells us to enjoy and use the gift of imagination, as that is how we as people truly evolve. Imagination allows us to “‘make up’ what already exists on the etheric plane that holds our destination of enlightenment.” It’s written by Moriah Marston and “The Tibetan”, the gentleman she channels.

page 40: In case you haven’t seen enough ads yet, here begins the Directory of Holistic Services Practitioners and Products. There are not one but TWO ads for people who want to help you out with a colon cleansing!

page 43: I think Rev. Claire Luft has got an angle on what my personal problem is. According to her website, “We are born with just 1-3 strands of DNA activated or available for use.” She has a “sacred” healing process in which “your 22 strands of DNA (11 physical strands, 11 etheric strands) are activated and strengthened, while unwanted debris from the genetic structure is cleared.” You can ask anyone, I’m allatime talking about needing more activated DNA strands. See, what this process does, for the layman, is “bring your Divine Blueprint into physical plane manifestation”. For those with a more scientific background, what she’s saying is that “by utilizing a specific dimension and hertz frequency,” she “enables Source to come through and allow the physical and the Spiritual to take action in the same instant to create a miracle.” She is a certified Divine Intervention Instructor. Also, she’s some kinda hot!

page 47: Both Ross Miller and Rev. August Stahr will clear negative karma away from you. So if you’re feeling bad about all that bad stuff you did, why not go get it taken care of?

page 50: There are two categories of ads here. One is “Psychics” and one is “Psychic Mediums”. Do you know what the difference is? Well, for one thing, all three of the “Psychics” have “For entertainment only” at the bottoms of their ads. None of the four “Psychic Mediums” have it on theirs. So I guess it depends on if you’re wanting fun or serious psychic business.

page 54: We close with some more Astrology, this time in its familiar form of broken down by star signs. This Astrologer makes no claims of National Council for Geocosmic Research certification and I should point out that she doesn’t mention Saturn even once. (Oh hey, that’s not true. She mentions it in Scorpio’s entry.) Still if I’ve learned one thing from this magazine it’s that intuition and imagination often trumps fancy book-learning. She points out your best days for the month and it looks like everyone needs to stay home on the 27th. Nobody’s doing good on that day.

So now you hopefully have an angle on what’s out there bunging up your life. And more importantly, you have hordes of handy holistic healers hoping to help you! As you can see, I barely scratched the surface of what’s packed into this issue of Wisdom Magazine. Sure, all these services are going to take some cash, cause even Telepathic Healers gotta eat, but what’s more important? A few dollars or accessing the creative matrix?

(My spell checker HATED this post.)

Ganked from here.

But I’m sure as hell not crying.

Mike Daisey is a monologist. A professional storyteller. His best known work (until recently) is 21 Dog Years, in which he recounts his experiences working for Amazon.com.

His latest piece is entitled “Invincible Summer”, and while performing it the other night, he had an unwelcome surprise.

Last night’s performance of INVINCIBLE SUMMER was disrupted when eighty seven members of a Christian group walked out of the show en masse, and chose to physically attack my work by pouring water on and destroying the original of the show outline.

I’m still dealing with all the ramifications, but here’s what it felt like from my end: I am performing the show to a packed house, when suddenly the lights start coming up in the house as a flood of people start walking down the aisles–they looked like a flock of birds who’d been startled, the way they all moved so quickly, and at the same moment…it was shocking, to see them surging down the aisles. The show halted as they fled, and at this moment a member of their group strode up to the table, stood looking down on me and poured water all over the outline, drenching everything in a kind of anti-baptism.

This story made the internet rounds and, interestingly, roused some skepticism. How did he know they were “Christians”? How would the guy with the water know that he was destroying the only copy? Did they buy tickets just to protest? Why would they pick this particular show to do so? Some even suggested that the whole thing was a ploy by Daisey to get attention.

Daisey posted a follow-up in which he answered many of these questions. The audience members had indeed bought their tickets after asking if the show was “clean”. They seem to simultaneously be a Christian group and from a public high school. Daisey tracked them down, wanting nothing more than to speak with them and figure out what it was all about.

I did speak with an administrator from the school, and with the individual who ruined my work. I think it’s important to note that *I* found and called *them*–it is clear to me that I never would have heard from any of them again had I not hunted them down. In fact, they were surprised to hear from me, which I think speaks to the lack of understanding and civility on their part. My work had been assaulted, and I had a clear vision of this man standing above me, destroying my work, with hatred in his eyes. I refused to be a victim twice–first by being assaulted, and second by committing the sin of silence. So I knew I had to find them, and speak with the man who did this.

The first person I managed to reach was an administrator with the group, a woman who started the conversation repeating the same statement time and again, which undercut her apology: she insisted it was a “safety issue”, and that “we had to get our students out of there.” There was no discussion of language or appropriateness–it had become a safety issue, as though the students were in danger of being physically assaulted. I think it is tremendously chilling that the language of the war on terror, the language of security, has been appropriated for even this–we can’t even begin a dialogue about what is and is not appropriate, because it has all become a “safety” issue. That ends a conversation before it has even begun.

They claim they knew nothing about the adult language in the show before buying their tickets. Things apparently got out of control and they had to flee for their lives — okay — but not before destroying the script on the way out.

Daisey found the guy who did that and spoke with him as well:

His name is David…. He has three kids–one is 21, and two are 17–and he’s terrified of the world. Terrified by violence, and sex, and he sees it all linked together–a horrifying world filled with darkness, pornography and filth that threatens his children, has threatened them all his life. They’re older now, but he says he still sees things the same way–and that the only way to protect his children and himself is to lock it all out of his life.

He also said he’s had anger-control issues for years, and sometimes acts of rage come over him–he explodes, and then has to apologize, and doesn’t know why it happens. He tries to lock it down, but it happens, and he’s ashamed of it.

The other things you can find out about David I’ll let you do in the blog entry linked above.

These people felt strongly enough that, en masse, they got up and left. That’s fine, I suppose. You’re entitled. They disrupted the show, but I’m not sure there was any way for such a large group to exit without doing that. One of them feels this isn’t enough and attempts to destroy the show. At this point it is not enough to simply leave and “protect” himself and his children from what he’s seen, he must protect others as well. From the description of him, it sounds like Daisey may have gotten off somewhat easy.

And they leave, and as far as they’re concerned, that’s it. They don’t explain their actions to anyone. And there’s this bit: “…when I ask what the people in his group are saying about what happened, he confesses that no one is talking about it.” Were the scars from hearing adult language too deep? Was it yet another thing that had to be locked out? Or do they simply have no idea how mature, well-socialized people behave in normal society, that their actions were somewhat unusual?

And once again the question needs to be asked: if this had been done in the name of Allah instead of Jesus, would things be different?

Your work of art for today. The original is here: Southpaw.

Here are the lyrics:

“Baby Got Book”
Lyrics by Dan Smith; Copyright 2004

Intro
Oh my goodness, Becky, look at her Bible
It is so big
She looks like one of those preacher guys girlfriends
But…you know…Who understands those preacher boys
They only talk to her because she looks like Mother Teresa, ok?
I mean her Bible…it’s just so big
I can’t believe it’s so huge
Uggh! It gross!
Look, she’s just so…righteous

Verse 1
I like big Bibles and I can not lie
You Christian brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with a KJV
And a book mark in Proverbs
You get stoked
Got her name engraved
So you know that girl is saved
It looks like one of those large ones
With plenty o’ space in the margins
Oh baby, I wanna read witcha
Cause your Bible’s got pictures
My minister tried to console me
But that Book you got makes (”M-m-me so holy”)
Ooh, momma-mia
You say you want koinonia
Well, bless me, bless me
And teach me about John Wesley

I saw her prayingWhile I was DJing
She got grace…pretty face
She ain’t goin’ down to the bad place

I’m tired of heathen guys
Sayin’ they like pocket-size
Ask the average Christian to take a look
She’s gotta pack much Book

So…Fellas (Yeah), fellas (Yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the Book (Oh yeah!)
Well, read it (Read it!), read it (Read it!), read that Holy Book
Baby got Book

Chorus
(NIV with a ribbon bookmark)
Baby got Book
(NIV with a ribbon bookmark)

Verse 2
I like ‘em leather and bound
It’s 50 pounds
I just can’t understand
How it is, some weenie
Wants the Bible on CD
She wanna get you saved
Amen! Double up! A-men!

I ain’t talkin’ about a paraphrase
Cuz Paul wouldn’t use those anyways
like ‘em real thick and red-letteredYou can’t find nothin’ betterSouthpaw’s in love
Bibles that big are unheard of

So I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ “What if…
I find me a girl that shows midriff?”
You can have those bimbos
I’ll keep those chick that do devos
A word to the Christian sistas
I can’t resist yaI’ll do God’s time witcha
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna pray
Til the break of day
Baby, got it goin’ on
Like the wife in Pro-verbs 31

We just might get engaged
When we finish reading this page
Cuz it’s worn and it’s torn
And I know this girl’s reborn

So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah)
Do you wanna save people from Hades (yeah) Then read it…’til the pages fall out
Even white preachers got to shout
Baby got Book

(Thompson Chain with big red letters)
Baby got Book

Yeah baby
When it comes to a good book
Stephen King’s resume just can’t compare
39 + 27 = 66 books
And if you’re Catholic…there’s even more

So your girlfriend quotes Bill Hybels
But does she got a big Bible?
Cuz that little things she’s got won’t start a revival
My Bible study don’t want none,Unless you got Book, Hon

…You can read Clancy or Grisham
But please don’t loose this Book

Some brothers wanna play that hard hard role
And tell you that Book’s too old
So they toss it and burn it
And I pull up quick to just learn it
So your girl likes paperback? Well I ain’t down with that
Cuz my girlfriend’s hot her Bible’s rockin’
And she’s got good doctrine
To the atheist chicks who try to dis
You ain’t it Miss Priss
Give me a Christian, I’m insistin’
And I’ll greet her with some holy kissin’
Some pervert tried to chase But he didn’t make it past first base
She’s quick to resist temptation
And she loves a new translation
So ladies who were lost and found
If you want the triple-six thrown down
Dial 1-800-reads-a-lot
And teach me about those Psalms
Baby got Book

(NIV with a ribbon bookmark)
Baby got Book
(Thompson Chain with big red letters)

Bible college knowledge but she still got Book (4 Xs)

Think the recent upsurge in Middle East violence is a bad thing? Then you’re obviously not waiting for Jesus to come back! Here on the Rapture Ready message board, a few people can’t wait to hear about more violence!

Here is the thread I’m looking at. In case it gets raptured, the username links below go to screen captures of the messages. You’ll want to check those out to get the full animated smiley effect.

ohappyday:

Is it time to get excited? I can’t help the way I feel. For the first time in my Christian walk, I have no doubts that the day of the Lords appearing is upon us. I have never felt this way before, I have a joy that bubbles up every-time I think of him, for I know this is truly the time I have waited for so long. Am I alone in feeling guilty about the human suffering like my joy at his appearing some how fuels the evil I see everywhere. If it were not for the souls that hang in the balance and the horror that stalks man daily on this earth, my joy would be complete. For those of us who await his arrival know, somehow we just know it won’t be long now, the Bridegroom cometh rather man is ready are not.

watcherboy:

it has been quite a day today, if you caught all the news; I’m getting the feeling world tension is gonna be high for a long time with increased terrorism and nations being defiant. I don’t think it will cool down until after the rapture when the peace deal is confirmed.

ifnot4him:

Ready, waiting and excited here! Still telling others whenever possible that the rapture could take place at any time because this world is in such a big MESS and evidently it goes through one ear and right out the other

Comicnurse’s brother has prepared a Rapture Kit for his friends:

comicnurse:

My brother has witnessed to some of his friends over and over. He finally prayed to God and asked Him to spare their lives when the rapture happens. Dan has told them, “When the rapture happens, go to my house and read everything I have in this folder.” They roll their eyes, but…………I’ll bet they run to find that folder when the rapture happens!

Bghtnpd4 (Bought and paid for) can’t contain her enthusiasm:

bghtnpd4:

I am excited beyond words that the struggle of this life may be over soon and I can finally be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Waitin reminds people that not all the wonderful death is happening in the Middle East, there are people dying here in America to be glad for!

Waitin:

I too am soooo excited!! I get goose bumps, literally, when I watch what’s going on in the M.E.!! And Watcherboy, you were so right when saying it was quite a day yesterday, in the world news, and I add in local news here in the Boston area!! Tunnel ceiling collapsed on a car and killed a woman of faith, and we had the most terrifying storms I have ever seen here!! But, yes, Ohappyday, like in your screen name , it is most indeed a time to be happy and excited, right there with ya!!

Kidsintow123 is getting spiffy for her Lord:

kidsintow123:

If He tarries, I will just have time to get my hair and nails done (you know let all I come into contact with know of my Bridegroom and what He has/will do). So i am all spiffied up for Him when He does arrive to take me home. No disappointment, just a few last minute details to take care of to be more pleasing to look at.

lilbitsyspider:

But what a privilege to be apart of the rapture. I can hardly wait!!

Cricket55:

Lets all cheer for Jesus.

Yes! Lets!

Guys, I am totally stoked here.

Ooh! Ooh! Citizens of Haifa are being told to go into bomb shelters! Hooray! More infidels are slaughtering each other to do the Lord’s work! How happy Israel and Lebanon must be to be chosen to announce the Christian God’s return!

Gotta go vomit now.

A couple weeks ago I solicited questions from people who’d like to know how an atheist — or this one, at least — would respond to them. I started out with some based on blog and forum postings I’ve seen, and some people added a few more. I’m now going to tackle them.

A couple of things to establish: I don’t claim to speak for anyone except myself. Please do not use my responses as a guide to “What Atheists think”, but rather as points for such data collection. Also, I’m not looking to argue anyone into a certain point of view — I doubt I could do that even if I wanted to. I’m just trying to provide some real answers. And finally, I’m not trying to be That Guy who always has to make sure everyone around him is aware at all times of his lack of beliefs. So here goes.

How did you become an atheist?

I’m not sure I became one so much as realized I was one. I was raised Roman Catholic, did the whole Baptism, First Communion , and First Confession thing (though never a Second Confession). I went to catechism in preparation for Confirmation and then never went through with it. Confirmation would be me getting up and declaring a belief in the Catholic religion, which I wasn’t sure I had. For several years after that I considered myself to be a Christian, though not necessarily a Catholic. Eventually I dropped to just believing in God, and finally I just realized that no, I really didn’t believe, and I didn’t need to keep trying to fool myself into believing that I did. There was no great moment of revelation or ceremony or doubt-raising event or anything, the fire of my belief went out like any other fire does if it can’t find any fuel.

Why an atheist and not an agnostic?

I’ve often heard people say that they can respect an agnostic but not an atheist, because an agnostic merely says “I don’t know” rather than arrogantly claims doubt. Sometimes I feel the opposite way, that agnostics need to just suck it up, admit what they really think, and close the escape hatch. That’s uncharitable, though.

My lack of belief doesn’t come from doubt. Although I am a skeptic, my skepticism is only related to my atheism, not the cause of it. I disbelieve in Bigfoot in a different way that I disbelieve in God. In the case of the former, I see no compelling evidence of its existence, though I can imagine the possibility of such a thing, remote as it may be. In the case of the latter, I simply see no need for a God. I don’t see a big God-shaped hole in the world. It’s true that I don’t see any evidence for God, but I also don’t see any reason there might be any.

So the short answer is, I call myself an atheist because I don’t believe. Period. I don’t doubt, I don’t wonder, I don’t shrug and think “eh, could be.” I don’t believe. And that makes me an atheist.

How can you be so certain, given how huge the universe is and how little mankind knows about it?

This argument is, of course, bullshit, but that doesn’t keep it from coming up time and again. If this is an argument for God, then it’s an argument for anything. Is there a hippo in your bathtub right now? How can you be so certain, given the hugeness of spacetime and our wee little brains? I doubt you ran to go check your bathtub because, although a scenario can be imagined in which a hippo, unknown to you, was secreted into your bathtub, the probability of such a thing happening is so low as to be not worth worrying about.

There’s a lot out there that we have to discover and learn. There’s likely to be some wild, mind-boggling stuff along the way. But I can’t imagine that any of it is going to suddenly reveal or require an omnipotent super-being hiding in the fringes.

Isn’t it better to believe in God and be wrong than to not believe and be wrong?

Well yeah, but this requires that (a) there be a God and (b) I be able to pretend I believe in him. Since I don’t think this is the case, this is kind of a false option.

This is a version of Pascal’s Wager, which has the same fallacy at its core. For me, though, the bigger problem is, I don’t believe. I can’t pretend I do. If there were a God, he would be the last being in the universe I’d want to try to pull a fast one on. For me, belief isn’t a choice, it’s a statement of fact. I haven’t chosen not to believe, my lack of belief is a statement of my condition. I believe what I do, don’t believe what I don’t, and if it turns out I was wrong later on, then I’ll have to face the consequences, I suppose, but at least I’ll be honest about it.

If you don’t believe in God, why have any morals at all? why not just do whatever you want?

It really spooks me to hear people say this. I have to wonder if they can really see no problem in the actions of murder, rape, theft, etc, in and of themselves. Is really the only reason not to rape someone the fear that God will be mad at you if you do?

What this question really seems to be asking is, if there’s no afterlife, doesn’t that make this life pointless? After all, your actions have no consequences!

This is absurd. If you believe in an afterlife, pretend for a moment you don’t. Now, did Gandhi’s actions have no consequences? Was his life pointless if his soul isn’t somewhere right now? If Mozart is just worm food right now, did he waste his time on Earth?

This seems incredibly self-centered to me, because it seems to be saying that if I am not around then nothing else matters. But everything we do does matter, has some impact on the world, for good or ill. Whether or not there’s a God or an afterlife, our actions have consequences, even if we’re not around to personally experience them. If you ask me why I should care about trying to make a world I’m no longer in a better place, why I should do good things if there’s nothing in it for me, then I might back away from you slowly.

Now, if you’re asking, “How can you call something good or bad?” that’s another story. I think it’s pretty obvious what’s “right” and “wrong” even without Ten Commandments. After all, most societies on Earth, sooner or later, develop certain rules of conduct. These arise out of a need for a stable society. Actions which stabilize the society (working together, helping each other) tend to be regarded as right, where actions that destabilize the society (killing each other, raping each other, burning down houses) tend to be regarded as wrong. You don’t need a God to see this, you just need a desire to see your society thrive and not to be hassled by your neighbor.

How can you say this is all there is?

All? Good grief, there are millions of things out there to see, to do, to eat, to try, to make, to learn, to explore, to create, to enjoy, to ponder, to touch, to love, to improve, to build, to play, to say, to fix, to invent, to study, to puzzle…and that’s not enough? You can look into the microscope or through the telescope, wander the library or the record store, flip through the atlas or the course catalog and think, “Surely there must be something else.”?

Sometimes I feel terrible because there’s so much and I haven’t done whatever it takes to experience as much of it as I can while I can.

I really don’t know how to respond to this. It’s like someone looking at a huge buffet full of every food imaginable and going “Is that it?”

Isn’t the atheist worldview depressing?

This is tough for me to answer because my whole life I’ve suffered from clinical depression. I’ve been depressed through every stage of belief and ultimately it was Celexa, not religion, which brought me peace.

But again, I don’t see why this would automatically be the case. The other place I hear this from is people who feel sorry or me and think my world must be a horrible, unmagical place because I don’t think people can bend spoons with their minds. I think this is a great world — it’s certainly the best one I’ve ever seen. I’d like to make it even better. I do get depressed when others don’t share that view. I think there are a lot of amazing, beautiful, incredible things out there. Hell, I got rapturous over a clever marble-running machine a few posts back.

In fact, I think the evidence that I don’t find this worldview depressing (as both a skeptic and an atheist) is that I am not trying to upgrade it with magic crystals or an afterlife that makes this one drab and useless. I’m happy with what I’ve got and only seek to make it better with things that can actually be done here and now.

Is there anything that could make you choose to believe?

Anarkey wasn’t sure what I meant here, wondering if I left this open ended for some ulterior motive. No, it really just should have been ended with “in God”. I think this answers the question you were getting at, Anarkey, but if not, please let me know.

As I’ve said above, I can’t “choose” to believe. I either do or don’t. Now, if there really is a God who for some reason desired for me to believe in him, then obviously he could make it so. Hasn’t happened yet, but I suppose that doesn’t mean it couldn’t. But we’re back to the hippo in the bathtub. Could a hippo be there? Yes, there’s an infinitesimally small chance of it. And certainly if I walked in and saw said hippo, my worldview would require some rearranging. But I’m not hanging Raid Hippo-B-Gone strips over the tub just in case. I can’t imagine what could happen that would make me believe, but I suppose something could.

And now, your questions.

Lyle: Do you have any kind of spirituality?

I don’t really know what that means. I very much like a lot of Buddhist teachings which, when you jettison a lot of the reincarnation stuff, still contains a pretty nice guide to a mindful life. I believe in what I call “food-fight karma,” which just means that if you’re in a room where people are throwing food, and you start hucking food yourself, the chances of being hit by some are probably gonna go up. Nothing magical or spiritual about it, there’s just more food flying around. Substitute “do good things” for “throw food” and that’s my big piece of enlightenment. But between the atheism and the skepticism, I probably don’t have any kind of spirituality that anyone who does claim to have spirituality would claim I have.

Dan: Do you like waffles?

Of course! I’m an atheist, not a madman!

Jonathan Bartlett: What do you think is the origin of choice? For example, do you think mechanistic explanations are the only one? If so, where and how does choice arise, if at all? If not, what other explanations are available, and how do they fit in?

I’m not sure how the existence or non-existence of God factors into choice, since even those who believe still maintain we’re given free will. I suppose one could argue that without God, “free” will is less free, since we’re at the behest of solely natural explanations for our decisions.

I think we make our decisions based on a myriad of things, not all of which we should. There’s the way we’re wired, of course, but you add on to that with what we’ve learned from experience, what we’ve learned second-hand, our fears, our prejudices, our hopes, our sex drives, our greed, and so forth, and while you’re still dealing with neurons and chemicals, there’s so much going on that it’s tough to predict. (But not impossible, and not always even difficult.)

Most people will argue that dogs don’t really have the level of self-awareness and cognition that we humans do, that they’re largely motivated by instinct. And yet sometimes, when I throw the tug, Beebo will chase it like a thing possessed and sometimes he couldn’t be less interested. It’s probable that this is a result of various instinctive drives competing with each other, along with other desires he currently has, but to me on the outside, it’s a crapshoot.

I don’t know if that addresses the issue at all, sorry.

John M: Do you consider yourself an evangelical Atheist? By that I mean, do you think we should all be Atheists? What are the benefits of Atheism?

In a sense, yeah, I do think it would be great if more people were atheists. But on the other hand, I’d settle for people just acting the way the religion they claim to be tells them to act. While you can commit crimes and start wars and preach hate for any number of idiotic reasons, religion doesn’t have a very good track record in these parts. Would I feel better if we didn’t constantly elect leaders who believe in an apocalypse and rewarding afterlife? Oh, you bet! Would I like it if we could teach science in schools and not have to worry about upsetting someone else’s creation myth? I would. Do I wish that we could decide social policy based on actual people and social needs rather than the sayings of a two thousand year old book regarding the proper use of penises? I do indeed.

But I don’t go around calling Christians “sheep” or wearing black t-shirts designed to challenge your belief or go into religious chatrooms and mock people or anything. I guess I try to do what I think most people try to do; do as best I can, make as good a case as I can when I need to, and hope that my actions and decisions speak for themselves.

And frankly, I don’t think one could be an “evangelical atheist”. Belief — true belief — is beyond reason. Just as I can’t pretend to believe in God, I don’t think someone who does believe can pretend she doesn’t. You either do or you don’t. I can’t imagine what “clever” arguments I could come up with that would change someone’s mind any more than those “atheist witnessing scripts” floating around the internet would change mine. And honestly, there’s no reason your belief is my business unless it’s made my business.

Unknown person (someone left a comment and I accidentally deleted it instead of the comment spam I was aiming at. I’m trying to phrase the question as I remember it, but I don’t remember who asked it or the exact wording, so if it was yours, please re-submit it.): Do you mind if people try and convince you otherwise, knowing their intentions are good?

Actually, yeah. Sorry, I know that’s kind of asshole. But you know, I really don’t think you’ve got the argument I haven’t heard a million times before. I’ve seen a lot of them. And I haven’t reached this point without thinking about it once or twice. So yeah, just as you don’t really want someone trying to get you to become a Muslim, Scientologist, Jew, Hare Krishna, Christian, Pagan, or Atheist, so I don’t want to hear why I need to change my ways as well. I’ll be more than happy to have a discussion, but I don’t need or want converting, thanks. I’ll be polite about it the first time.

I hope that helps folks out. If you have more, or if I didn’t answer you as you would have liked, please feel free to comment on this post. Thanks to everyone who submitted questions!