Yes, the rumors are true. There is a Diablo movie in production.

What’s more, I have been contacted to help work on the script. In fact, they’re basing it on my game.

They have changed the character’s name from “Uvula”, obviously. And he’s more of a Paladin than a Druid.

He’s now called Stormfist Darkraven.

For two hours (give or take some work in the editing room), he’ll fight the Countess over and over in the hopes of getting an Ort rune.

hat tip: Jerm

The original trailer.

I got hipped to this yesterday via this entry on WFMU’s blog, which is well worth bookmarking.

Brad Neely is a modern day Renaissance man who, among other amazing achievements, has created a show called “Wizard People, Dear Readers”. It’s an alternate narration of the first Harry Potter movie, intended to replace the actual dialogue. It’s also freaking hilarious.

If you’re the kind of person who wants to know all about Brad Neely and who he is and what else he’s done, take a look at the link above. If you just want to see for yourself, check out the videos below. WARNING: “ADULT” LANGUAGE! There are plenty more available on YouTube. I thought about trying to hit them in order but I had more fun going at random.

YOU ARE NO DOUBT CRAVING MORE. You can download the entire thing here.

Also, here’s more of Neely’s other stuff.

Becky and I got Wordplay from Netflix and watched it last night. For those who are even slower about movies than me, it’s a documentary on Crossword puzzles — the puzzles, the people who make them, and the people who enjoy them. While not a crossword fanatic, I do enjoy me a little cruciverbal recreation from time to time, and I tend to like slightly tougher ones over easy ones (as well as cryptic crosswords and cross sums, the numerical equivalent of crosswords).

The documentary is quite light-hearted and fun, and I think even a person with little interest in crosswords might enjoy it. Critiques I read of it seem to indicate this, as critic after critic appears amazed that crossword puzzles and their fans could be so interesting. (It’s always entertaining to watch people discover that there are other people out there who — somehow — enjoy something that that person has no interest in.) The scenes at the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament are just as tense and dramatic as any sporting event I’ve ever watched. In addition to the puzzle creators and solvers who are probably only known to other crossword aficionados, there are cameos by crossword-enjoying celebrities, such as a pro baseball pitcher, an ex-president (though oddly, not the current president), a filmmaker, a folk-rock band, and a (hilarious) talk show host. The DVD also comes with all kinds of fun extras including a look at a few “well-known” puzzles and what makes them interesting (and they honestly are interesting).

Speaking of interesting, here’s something else about the film: it’s rated PG for “some language and mild thematic elements”. How on earth could a film about crossword puzzles be rated PG? Is there a Miss Nude Twelve Across pageant? Does the third place ACPT finalist start opening fire into the crowd in rage? Do the solvers start shouting obscenities at random? The answers are “no”, “no”, and “sort of” (in a really funny sequence where New York Times Crossword Puzzle Editor Will Shortz reads some of his “fan mail” aloud.) But the uttered oaths are pretty mild for a PG rating. No, I’m willing to bet that the rating comes from the fact that one of the spotlighted solvers is in a happy, committed relationship with another person of the same gender. They even “flaunt” their orientation by calling each other “sweety” and there’s a quick peck on the lips. Since, in the movie, this is not commented on in the slightest and treated as matter-of-factly as any other relationship portrayed, young viewers might be tricked into thinking this is something normal and acceptable, so parents are cautioned.

Seriously, though, this is a really entertaining and fascinating film. You can view the trailer here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find a pencil^* and a puzzle to solve.

—

^* - Not because I’m a coward, mind you. I hate writing anything in pen. I could totally do a crossword in pen if I chose to.

So on Saturday Dave and I are over at Brian’s playing games, and Brian’s son David (yes, we are Legion) is flipping through the channels, when suddenly our eyes notice the words “Hellboy: Sword of Storms” on the listing for Cartoon Network. The first thought is, “zu-wha?” followed quickly by, “Oh yeah! I forgot they were doing an animated Hellboy thinger!” Dave quickly called Vicky and employed the Tivo-Like Device^TM. Sunday, we enjoyed the fruits of our labor.

Sword of Storms is the first animated Hellboy movie to come out. Here’s the synopsis, according to the official site:

When a university professor opens a forbidden scroll, he is possessed by the twin demons of thunder and lightning whom seek to return to the world to wake their brothers, the dragons. Hellboy, along with a folklore expert and a psychic, travels to Japan to investigate.

There, Hellboy finds the sword of storms, the only weapon that can defeat the demons, and he is transported to a world where he encounters several creatures of Japanese folklore. He learns that the sword is the only weapon that can defeat the demons, but also comes to know that this sword also holds magic that will return them to Earth.

You can see a trailer and some images at the official site.

So how was Sword of Storms? Not bad, really. Many of the same actors (Ron Perlman, Selma Blair) returned to do voices, and although David Hyde-Pierce isn’t on-board for Abe Sapien (and this is very jarring), another Frasier alumnus, Peri Gilpin, provides the voice for Professor Kate Corrigan. The voice acting and animation is quite good, and while the plot is pretty padded out, it’s still a fun ride (especially since elements from some of the Hellboy comics short stories are interwoven into the plot.) The film keeps a PG-13 rating, with Hellboy lightly cussing all the annoying supernatural events unfolding around him. Dave and I were both pleased with the results, and I’m looking forward to the next animated movie, Blood and Iron.

I don’t know if or when Cartoon Network will replay the movie, but the official site says the DVD will be available in February of 2007. Definitely something to keep an eye out for.

Guys, Trenchgeek has something to say.

MICHAEL BAY YOU HAD BETTER MAKE SURE YOUR LIVE ACTION TRANSFORMERS MOVIE STAYS TRUE TO THE ORIGINAL CONCEPT OF ALIEN ROBOTS DISGUISED AS CARS OR ELSE YOU WILL HAVE A LOT OF UNHAPPY PEOPLE AFTER YOU.

I don’t doubt he’s right.

Citizens of the future, I am a visitor from the past! Back in 2006 I entered a Time Capsule known as Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Only recently did I emerge. What year is it? Who’s President now? In this advanced era, do cars fly yet? Has Cancer been cured? Do movies now know when the hell to end?

‘Blade Runner’ to get ‘final cut’ re-release

Ridley Scott’s sci-fi classic “Blade Runner,” one of the first movies to appear on DVD in 1997, is being restored and remastered for a brief reissue in September.

The DVD, featuring the 1992 “director’s cut,” will be deleted after four months, and replaced by a 25th-anniversary “final cut,” which Warner Home Video is billing as Scott’s “definitive new version” of the film.

After a limited theatrical release, the newly spruced-up “Runner” will be released in a multidisc special edition DVD that also will include the original theatrical cut, the expanded international theatrical cut and the 1992 director’s cut.

Choose your joke:

(a) This time, it turns out Deckard’s actually a cute little bunny rabbit dreaming the whole thing!

(b) Last night I dreamed I was a unicorn. When I woke up, I didn’t know if I was a man dreaming he was a unicorn or a unicorn dreaming he was a man. Or a replicant dreaming he was a man dreaming he was a unicorn. Or a fanboy dreaming there was a replicant dreaming he was a man dreaming he was a unicorn. Or…

(c) In this version, the unicorn dreams of Deckard first.