I think someone needs to re-read the help file that came with their MAKE MONEY FAST kit. I just received this:

Subject: (no subject)
From: FIRST_NAME LAST_NAME

You have seen it on “60 Minutes” and read the BBC News report — now find out just what everyone is talking about.

# Suppress your appetite and feel full and satisfied all day long
# Increase your energy levels
# Lose excess weight
# Increase your metabolism
# Burn body fat
# Burn calories
# Attack obesity
And more..

HLINK

# Suitable for vegetarians and vegans
# MAINTAIN your weight loss
# Make losing weight a sure guarantee
# Look your best during the summer months

HLINK

Regards,
Dr. FIRST_NAME LAST_NAME

This is possibly the worst spam ever.

Got this beauty in my inbox yesterday and I can’t not share it:

Subject: If we start this right away, we will be delighted that we followed the plan.

I’d like us to ensure that we tell them that we need bucks too.

The absolutely magnificent news is that the residence is worth more too.

it is time for you and me to get a new program for lending our home. We
just can’t put it off any more.

I discussed this with many mates and they were trying the same plan, and
there is so much to enjoy.

Property owners at this page get hold of the smartest choices.

It is truly a win win situation.

[geocities link deleted]

Hit me up later,

Kerem

I play a trick knock consent.” available punctuation mark greatly; but to
stalk career Bara with Go-bu-balu at his heels,
of which lay squid crab the dungeon with product the false wall.

Soon as I get past this squid crab, I’m totally gonna hit Kerem up. There’s just so much to enjoy.

We received this…er…festive decoration in the mail from Dave and Vicky, who say this about it on the enclosed note:

We were shopping at Prairie Gardens and spotted this charming holiday decoration. We felt that it belonged in a state such as Massachusetts, where the activity it depicts is fully endorsed by the legal system. We hope that it adds a festive touch to your home.

And that it does! I should point out, though, that the legal system of the Commonwealth doesn’t recognize “married couples” consisting of three people, nor does it allow for any (or all) of the individuals to be snowmen. However, we all know that it’s just a matter of time.

I don’t know how Becky and I can ever return the favor of this lovely gift.

But we will.

Oh yes. We will.

It seems as though I’ve got six, count ‘em, six GMail invites in my hand. Now, I’ve been using Gmail for about two months now, and I can’t say I’m overly crazy about it. At best it’s comparable to Yahoo, and at worst it’s annoying in a sort of “Don’t use your email the way you want to, use it the way we’ve decided you want to!” way.

Ne’ertheless, I’ve got these invites, and I know some people out there are hot to get one. If you’re one of those people, let me know. Otherwise I’m donating them to GMail4Troops.

My friend Dave has been taking pleasure out of spam mail received from individuals whose names seem to be composed of two random words with a random middle initial. Some of his new internet friends include Shortsighted E. Oversleeping, Slave F. Snoozing, and Unbelievable G. Spryness.

I didn’t start paying attention to these mails until he pointed them out, and I agree that there’s some amusement to be had here. This morning I got mail from both Womb S. Latex and Cardinal Q. Loco. The latter, who stands a good chance of becoming Pope Loco I within the next few years, informs me that “Dripping woman wants to date you”. Obviously this piqued my interest, though I was mainly concerned that the poor lady would catch her death of cold unless toweled off.

The actual email begins with: “Which side of the bed did you get out of this mroning, then? :))))” It hasn’t been that long ago, so I recalled that this mroning I got out of the left side of the bed, which doesn’t even make one of my mouths smile, much less all four of them. Cardinal Loco continues: “Sexy Prsotitute wants to meet you”. As I’ve said before when told that hott teens want to meet me, the only reason they want to do so is because they haven’t. Hott teens and sexy prsotitutes share a common disinterest in comics, role-playing games, and legos.

Then follows a link to “Good Lucking Woman Cheating on husband.”

A photo is next, of a woman named “Yogacat”. Yogacat does not appear to be dripping, but I can’t tell whether or not she’s a Prsotitute. I’m informed that she’s 22, straight, and lives in New York, but not which side of the bed she got out of this mroning.

Yogacat has this to say: “my husbands been gone for too long, and i need a strong man to take over my erotic asian desires. if you think you are the man to fullfill these requirements, contact me asap. because my soaking wet p**** is yearning.” It’s yearning, folks. Sadly, I don’t think I fullfill the requirements.

The message concludes with a bit of wisdom in the form of a quotation: “He only is eepmxt from failures who makes no effsrot.” This is attributed to the great philosopher, Jutaitapiy r,L]>. Jutaitapiy r,L]>’s words resonate today as much as they did in his own time. There’s then a link I can click on to be removed, but who wouldn’t want to receive emails like this?

I’ll post a longer entry detailing my magical journey to a land beyond time later, but for now I wanted to say this. Due to increasing spamminess, I’ve got a new email address. You can see it by clicking the “contact” link to the left. I haven’t stated it outright to avoid spambots. I’ll still check my other two main email addresses, but for now, this is probably your best bet for contacting me.

(If you’re reading this through the RSS feed, the link can be found here.)

I got this email in response to my posting of the Richard Clarke “60 Minutes” transcript:

you’re starting to sound as partisan and selective as the people you make fun of

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0323042clarke1.html

clarke is selling a book, not trying to do any great thing.

There are three parts to this message. The first is that I’m “starting” to sound selective and partisan. I would certainly hope that I started sounding partisan a long time ago, because I am. I’m not “fair and balanced” and make no claims to be. I’m not a news organization or a columnist or a pundit, just some schmoe with a website. I think I’ve made it pretty damn clear that I want Bush out of office, preferably covered with tar and/or feathers. But this is neither here nor there.

The Smoking Gun link is a link to Richard Clarke’s resignation letter, which proves only that Clarke has the ability to write the same BS resignation letters everyone writes if they’re smart. I’ve been in and quit enough crappy jobs to know that no matter how bad you’d like to burn down the building and spread salt on the ashes, you smile, thank them for the opportunity, and leave.

But the meat is the third line, about Clarke writing a book, and it’s the most telling. Yes, I totally agree. Clarke has a book he wants people to buy. For conservatives and conservative sympathizers, this seems to seal the deal — obviously this taints his claims and we can just dismiss them. Never mind that people like Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, and Bill O’Reilly constantly have books they’re trying to sell and yet we’re supposed to pay attention to what they have to say. Clarke’s book reveals the truth: he’s just drumming up publicity for book sales.

Well here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter if Clarke has a book for sale. What matters is the claim that he (and his book) make. None of those claims have been disputed, and in fact they’ve been corroborated by independent witnesses. True to form, nobody on the Right seems interested in the truth, in reality. It’s just all about making the other guy look bad. Remember, conservatives think, whereas liberals merely feel. Conservatives tackle the hard issues head on — by attacking the person who brings them up.

If a fellow jumps up and makes a claim that dogs can talk, it doesn’t matter whether or not he seeks to make money off of this discovery. If he writes a book or makes a movie about this discovery, it doesn’t affect the claim at all. The real question remains: can he produce a dog that talks? If not, then he’s a fraud. If he can, then no amount of books or movies can change the fact that the guy’s got a talking dog. The book or movie might explain why he chose to make a bogus claim, should the claim prove to be bogus, but it’s not the thing that torpedoes the claim itself.

The question is not whether or not Richard Clarke has a book for sale. He does. It’s not whether someone associated with him is now associated with Kerry. These sorts of ad hominem attacks don’t address the real issue here: is what Richard Clarke is saying true? So far that seems to be the case. Certainly nobody’s provided any evidence that Clarke is lying, they’re simply giving scenarios in which a person with an unblemished 30-year record of service under both parties who actually voted for Bush might suddenly start spouting lies about his administration.

It’s ironic, however, that to respond to Clarke’s bombshell — where he accuses the Bush administration of ignoring one threat in order to concentrate on another one — supporters of the President avoid the actual issue to go after a safer and easier target. A target that, unfortunately for them, doesn’t solve the problem.

I wanted to comment on a few of the emails I’ve gotten lately. The whole manga thing has prompted a lot of folks to write in with suggestions of other manga for me to try. This is largely due to the kind efforts of other bloggers linking to my manga entries. I thank you all for your suggestions, and will take them to heart. There’s a few titles that many have suggested, so they are definitely ones I will look into.

One writer, Jenny, took umbrage at the entry I did in which I mocked some titles based on their blurbs on the Tokyopop page. She advises me not to judge a title by its blurb, as some of the books I mention there go far deeper than how it seems from the descriptions. Rest assured that I was doing that out of goofy fun more than anything, Jenny. I’m fully aware of how stupid comics I like would sound if you tried to summarize them in only a few sentences.

I also started getting some mail about Ground Zero. Largely words of encouragement, but also some nice suggestions. Thanks everyone, and keep them coming! Although I don’t particularly want a comment feature on this weblog, I often wish the Ground Zero one had such a feature.

In other postal news, a letter of mine to the Knights of the Dinner Table comic got published in issue 86! You won’t know it’s me, though, since some kind of glitch resulted in my name showing up as “DaveGil Reyes”.

Anyways, I just wanted to acknowledge the people who’ve taken the time to email me. I do read and appreciate the comments, even if I don’t always write back.